A Valentine's Surprise
by MoonSpider95
Summary: During the school Valentine's Day Dance, Virgil finds himself electrical current to claw with the most famous of the X-Men, Wolverine.


**Author's Note: I wrote this for a competition on a website (and I won. Yay!) so that explains the opening. Wanna see the Christmas Special it's talking about? I'll put it up soon!**

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A Valentine's Surprise

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Last competition, you all read a story of Christmas in the universe where Marvel and DC collide. Today, we see an adventure at a time as lovely as Valentine's Day. We begin our tale in Dakota City, where a chemical explosion, aka the "Big Bang" altered the genetic structure of unsuspecting youth, or as they would call themselves, "Bang Babies". The chemicals drive most insane, one of many reasons why many seek a cure, but there is a heroic duo of this mutated city, Virgil Hawkins and his friend Richey, or Static Shock and Gear. Today however, Virgil is on no ordinary mission. He is doing the hardest thing known to man - - - - getting a date to the school's Valentine's Day dance.

It was two days before the dance, and Virgil approached Daisy with a deep breathe, and said, "Hey, Daisy! Umm, so….you got a date to the school dance?"

"Like you would care." She walked away.

"Wait, what? Why would you say that?"

"Cuz you're NEVER AROUND, VIRGIL! We must have gone out like, a dozen times, and then I turn my back for a moment, and then you're gone, POOF!"

"Well, I wouldn't say _poof_, more like - - _zwooooom_."

Daisy stormed away angrily, but Virgil took it lightly, it was a common case people had against him, and given time she would get over it. Still, he was in a bit of a funk with the superhero thing, and went to the gas station, abandoned and used as his secret lair, he held Gear's helmet and said, "Dude, what a time to look for colleges, you're a freshman for crying out loud! After so long with a partner, it's hard going solo."

_*Theme music*_

_Fight the criminals, chase the bad guys,_

_Save the world, fly through the sky,_

_Half kid, half amazin',_

_Ok, Static Shock, who you facin',_

_Yeah one zip, then you zapped,_

_Good against evil, get trapped,_

_Look in my eyes, I got the power, _

_Villains run from the static shower._

_Superhero, Static Shock (woo woo)_

_Superhero, Static Shock (woo woo)_

_Criminals, get twisted_

_This superhero gifted,_

_Bell rings, I'm back in school, _

_Nobody knows what I do, ok._

_Superhero, Static Shock (woo woo)_

_Superhero, Static Shock (woo woo)_

_Superhero, Static Shock (woo woo)_

_One zip, then you zapped,_

_Good against evil, get trapped,_

_Look in my eyes, I got the power,_

_Villains run from the static shower._

_Criminals, get twisted,_

_This superhero gifted,_

_Bell rings I'm back in school,_

_Nobody knows what I do, ok._

_Superhero, Static Shock!_

_*end*_

It is in middle of lunch period at the high school, and a girl in dark, sensible clothes, and a pair of relatively thick glasses walks by with her food, avoiding all contact, and soon you'll see why. Looking behind her, she bumped into a school football player, and he didn't appreciate that.

"Look where you're goin' nerd-o!" He pushes her to his teammate.

"Ha-ha, Jerry, I think we got your date for the dance!"

"Yeah, right, Waldo, nobody in the world wants to end up with _Pitiful Patty Perkins_!"

Filled with anger, she chose to defy him by kissing him straight on the lips, just to see how he'd react. The rest of the football players headed to the field with laughter, but Jerry stayed behind.

"I will obey you, my love."

"_Interesting_."

That night, we open up to an abandoned laboratory, filled with gadgets, giant holding chambers and devices suspected of being used for nefarious purposes. Patty and standing up the stairwell, and two guys, one Jerry, one apparently another guy she forcibly kissed. They were holding some new guys captive, with them struggling futilely to escape. She walked over and kissed one of the two.

"I will obey you, my love."

"Perfect. At this rate, I'll have an army at my side! This city shall pay for disgracing me! I've studied science all my life; let's see if I can create proper payback. Come with me, boys." Patty kissed the other guy and had them follow her down to the stolen armored truck to pick up some supplies.

"I will obey you, my love."

The next day before school, Static was on patrol, but wasn't paying attention. He was too happy that Daisy called him and gave him a second chance, and decided to go with him to the dance. As a matter of fact, he was so happy, he was doing backflips on his saucer! His pleasure was broken by the sound of alarms, thundering though the streets. More students at his high school taking high tech stuff, Static did his thing and stopped them, but most, almost trance-like, paid him no mind and was on their way with all of the materials. There was simply too many to catch them all, in fact, the school was shut down as a result of the tremendous amount of absences.

Virgil didn't catch a break until later that night. Static was hot on the trail of the armored truck with the love-struck boys in the front seat. There was a radio transmission of a voice he knows he's heard.

"Boys, follow into the garage then report to the laboratory."

Static didn't know what was happening, but to make it sound convincing that he was one of the guys, he simply stated. "I will obey." Static stopped in midair and abandoned the truck at the sound of rusting in the bushes. Someone was watching him. In seconds, out jumped Wolverine, claws bearing, came _this_ close to ripping through Virgil. Static zapped electricity through the adamantium and the claws bent onto some scrap metal left behind from what appears to now be many trucks.

"Rgh, ugh….how you doin' that?"

"Science. Run an electrical current through metal and it becomes magnetized, and you best be tellin' why you wanna slice me up like a 'lectric salad!"

"You really don't know do yuz? I hearda you, save the entire Justice League. SHIELD sent me in cuz that stuff those kid-drones are packin' is Level 6 Grade-A tech, could be real dangerous."

"AND YOU WERE GETTING' READY TA SLICE 'N DICE ME WHEN SOMEONE WOULD BE **CONTROLIN' MY MIND**?"

"I've been at this for _years_, kid. I can get that close just ta make you sweat. Make ya a deal. You showed everyone up at SHIELD the way you saved the Earth twice in two days, and you're what? 14? So – "

"Are you asking ta team up? AWESOME!"

Static let out the electricity out of the adamantium and started floating on his saucer at ground level while Wolverine followed close by. Wolverine busted into one of the incoming trucks while Static knocked out the kids, careful not to hurt them, and they got in, hoping to get in without causing a riot. There was just too many to fight while making sure you hold back. They entered to the garage and everyone unloaded the tech, but the two planned to stay hidden. They slowly moved toward a back opening and observed the majority working with the technology, but what they saw was indefinitely a nuclear bomb!

"Yo, Edward Scissorhands, what up wit SHIELD getting' involved in this? I'm around, and I'm sure police can defuse a bomb."

"You can't diffuse a nuclear bomb, and this isn't an ordinary bomb either. The people the boys stole this from were workin' on fusing nuclear reactions with cosmic energy. They thought it'd be a way to cancel each other out and make a new source of energy. Wrong big time. If this thing goes off, it could wipe out half the continent and part'a Europe!"

"What? But whoever's putting this together would get blown with it! Who'd be _that_ whacked?"

"I AM NOT WHACKED!"

The two turned to Patty, who was now dressed much more confident and appealing, in jeans and a sparkling red top. The gas, though it may be obvious at this point, had affected her mind. She began whispering to herself, and then the next thing Logan and Static knew, the school of boys had poured out and what must have been a couple hundred boys said in unison:

"I will obey you, my love." The two were forced to hold off against them, but still they weren't able to use their powers against defenseless kids.

"We have to find a safer area and regroup! We can't get through them all without hurting them! Let's move!"

"What? What 'bout the bomb, kid?"

"You have another plan? We gotta roll up outta here!"

On the way out, the two noticed chambers that made Logan flash back to the cloning chambers at Weapon X, but no time to think about that now. Wolverine's healing factor kept him in check of the miniature army, but after they all got out, Virgil was beaten bloody. They planned to come back the next night. Now that they know where the supplies are going, it'd be easy for them to retrace their steps. All day long all Static could think about was how to show up Wolverine because, let' face it, he's the type of guy that for apparently no reason you just wanna prove yourself.

The night of the Valentine's Day dance, but Static Shock was off to get Patty the help she needs. He met up with Logan with scoped the exterior. Wolverine thrashed to security systems and cameras, but the he caught a whiff of something that smelled like a mix of fur, beef, and drool.

_*sniff, sniff*_ "There're dogs out here. Can't risk them giving us away, better you close your eyes, this kinda carnage to animals isn't suitable for people who don't have armpit hair."

"What? I so _do_ have pit hairs! And that's not needed. It's a team-up, let me do my thang."

Static floated by his saucer, careful not to stir dog laying awake on guard, and gave a small zap to each behind the ear, enough to immobilize and put to sleep the dogs for about 5 minutes. They snuck by the production, but soon they understand why those cloning tubes were there. Past all the scientific material there was a cell the size of a gymnasium, holding all the supposed "drones", who were all begging for help.

"No prob, we just bust them out, and break the heck outta here!"

"Bub, how do we even save the rest of the country? That nuke is gonna blow, and nothin' can deactivate it."

The place suddenly flooded with the "clone drones" all of them one again repeated in unison, "I will obey you, my love." This time their eyes glowed purple with the effect of the "Bang Baby Gas" clear as the cause of the desire for destruction. Above it all once again was Patty Perkins, now in a red evening gown, and enjoying the entire scene as if it were a movie.

"Wolverine! They're fake! Slash through them and I'll take care'a that bomb!"

"They're fake? What was your first clue! What ya gonna do 'bout – "

Static didn't answer, but just blasted his way through the army, trying to conserve his energy. He's like a battery, the more he uses, the less consciousness he has. Wolverine lost himself in the fight and became completely savage with how he would slice through the bodies leaving nothing but a gory mess as the beings destabilize.

Throwing up a bit in his mouth from that image, Virgil made his way to the bomb. He focused his hands toward the generator, and began to suck in all the juice, but he only began when Patty came up to him.

"Static, please, don't you see you'd be hurting so many people? This holiday. Girls everywhere hurt. If you're single this time of year, you might as well be dead."

"What? Girl, you crazy. Soon as this is over, you're goin' to the Bang-Baby mental retreat."

Patty tried to kiss him, but Static's natural electromagnetic field forced her away. Virgil sucked in as much as he could, screaming from the pain. He's never absorbed so much power.

"My plan! My lovely plan! At least _something's_ going right! If the bomb doesn't detonate, the place is set to be demolished! It's is coming down. True, my powers only work short term, so I had to settle for a clone army, but now the heart-breakers of Dakota are going to die! Hahaha, Die baby, DIE!"

Red lights flashed, and the place did in fact begin to crumble. Static spent up to the last second to absorb the energy so bomb couldn't go off. Wolverine rushed through the crowd, shredding every clone in sight, and slashed open the cell to let out the boys.

"C'mon kids, play time's over. Follow me outta here."

Wolverine led them out there, and everyone punched, kicked, and slashed their way through the remainder of the crowd as they fond the exit. Just when it seemed it all was about to collapse on top of them, Static used his maximum power to hold the whole place up as everyone made their escape, including Patty. Once everyone was out, he used all the excess energy to blow up the building, forcing electricity through the air in a 50-foot radius upward. By this point he was exhausted, and he fell and floated down on his saucer. Wolverine, holding Patty to make sure she doesn't run off, helps up Virgil.

"Nice job, kid."

Getting a compliment from a legend, he couldn't help but feel he really accomplished something. Then Virgil's cell phone rang.

"Um, can you hold up a sec…..hello?"

"Virgil! Where are you? You're supposed to be my date for the Valentine's Dance! This is just like you! You forgot!" Yup, it was Daisy.

"Aw, man!"


End file.
